More bloody beans

In addition to the Smoky Bacon Beans I featured in my last post, another of the flavours of beans that Tesco brought out around the same time as Heinz's range were these extraordinary-sounding Bloody Mary Beans.

I was fairly dubious as to their claim to that name when I first spotted them on the shelf, imagining that they would probably just be normal beans with a hint of spice added to them - 'Virgin Mary' beans at best. It came as somewhat of a surprise therefore to look at the ingredients and discover that they were actually alcoholic - albeit extremely mildy so, with just 1% vodka. So, it probably wouldn't be too much of a risk to drive or operate machinery even after eating the entirety of the 200g tin. Also present were Worcester Sauce and Hot Pepper Sauce, but as these came even further down the ingredients list than the vodka, it seemed even less likely that these beans would blow your head off with their spiciness than they would get you drunk.

I took care not to overheat them in my saucepan, for fear of boiling off what tiny amount of alcohol might have been present. Trying a few from the pan, my suspicions were confirmed - they didn't really seem to taste any different to normal beans. Not even the faintest whisper of alcohol to them as far as I could detect, which would have been a bit disappointing had it not been quite so predictable. Was there, however, perhaps the very slightest hint of the rich savoury flavour of Worcester Sauce, cutting through the usual sugariness of the beans' tomato sauce? And the tiniest tingle on the tongue from the hot pepper sauce? No, I think I was just imagining it. Perhaps if I'd tried them alongside some a normal tin, I would have noticed the difference, but on their own, these seemed like your bog-standard beans.

Fortunately though, it just so happened that I had all the necessary ingredients to give the beans a bit of a 'bloody boost', to make them live up to their name:

In went a good few drops of tabasco, a proper shake of the Lea and Perrins bottle, and a good old glug of the Grey Goose. Or two.

As with the smoky bacon beans, it didn't seem quite right just to have the beans on boring old toast or similar, so I decided to run with their cocktail credentials and serve them up in a glass, with an extra sprinkle of cayenne pepper and a stick of celery as a stirrer.

Some might think it a little impractical to eat beans from a glass, but in fact the celery also served as an excellent, natural and edible spoon.

So, although in their natural state from the tin, these beans were more than a bit of a disappointment (possibly why Tesco have since discontinued them), with a little extra enhancement, they weren't half bad. But having sampled my version - with a couple of extra shots as well - driving or machinery operation might not have been the best idea.

Talking of machinery though...back to Back in Time for Dinner (last time I mention it, I promise). The 1980s episode saw a range of new gadgets in the Robshaw kitchen: the microwave, of course, made its first appearance, as well as a toasted sandwich maker and a Sodastream machine, but also an electric tin opener, which made Rochelle's life a lot easier when it came to preparing dinner. "Oh God, look at that go!" she cried, almost in disbelief of the light work it made of a tin of beans. "How do you stop it?! Cor, blimey!"

The final two episodes went by without any mention of tins at all, but were no less interesting - my Tuesday evenings just won't be the same now the show has finished.